The End (of something) is Nigh?

Ivan of Chernobyl - Hand Embroidery

I am handing in my main project work for assessment today/tomorrow... I have a suitcase full AND an A2 portfolio. I have already submitted the written part which took me much longer than it should have, due to nitpicking and formatting troubles, the words only took half of the total time, the rest was spent stressfully getting text to line up and images to stay in the correct position. I ended up having to do the whole thing in 'InDesign' as 'Word' is so awful. 

My main concern at the moment is getting it all off the train quickly enough, once that is done my next concern will be 'curating' my sketchbook, notebooks and file on a table (?!) then the presentation of it tomorrow, and filling 25 minutes up with talking.

To help me I will get some preparation done now:

Introduction:

The summing up of my timeline; where I started, where I am now and how I got there.

I'm assuming the tutors will have already read my in depth, reflective essay about that and my process, so hopefully it will be more about the artwork than the theory this time although I'm not so sure!

Show/flick through examples; A2 paintings, my sketchbook, best (mounted) photographs, and fabrics. I must say it IS professionally presented.

My strengths during this project- Practice 1:

• primary research
• visual interpretation/communication of idea's
• testing of initial thoughts
• relevance of materials and techniques to concept/subject
• presentation

Ivan - Detail/Reverse

What didn't work technically?

• digital stitch programming - so far I haven't been able to get it to do what I want, BUT I just need more time.
• laser cutting matching/combined with print (as above), need to sample 'printing' WITH the laser (which I used to be able to do. cf rastering)

What I intend to develop (further) in Practice 2:

• it all feels a little 'bitty' i.e. not logical, due to my ideas jumping about - I hope to focus on ONE main area, at least for a while and actually produce some solid work... I am starting to worry that I have only 18 months left and it doesn't seem long enough to produce an embroidery collection at couture level based on whatever... it could take me that long just to do ONE sample (from past experience).
• confidence - I am confident with the practical aspects regarding the quality, skills, aesthetics and initiative evident within my work, but I need to better articulate my thought process and intellect with regards to the not yet, completed project. My confidence will come from believing that I understand what I want to achieve, and have the knowledge and imagination to convey it to the critic and feeling that it is personal to me but shared and appreciated by others.

I am happy with what I have done, even though it never seems enough and there are too many idea's to try and then to progress and to develop further until they are beautiful... AND I STILL have to research the theory of Aesthetics.

So my conclusion is:

• that I will produce (by the end of practice 3 - the final module) 'a collection of pieces on a theme/addressing an issue, for exhibition' (probably) about Chernobyl and the related issues surrounding the world's worst nuclear disaster, and on it's 30th anniversary. 
• to forget about the fashion fabric design collection, I have decided I am NOT a commercial designer AND I can produce that anyway later if I so choose, from the experimental samples I produce whilst doing the above...can't I?

And, the FINAL conclusion is:

... there is never an end. Is there?