The Last Part (Unit No.3) - a very delayed post!

I've just found this as a draft in my post list (from December!) so I thought I might as well publish it, I think I was waiting for a photo to choose itself.

So now I start the final leg of my MA - the Final Major Project and I am extremely excited... shall it be the culmination of something? I doubt it...I truly believe it is only the start. This whole experience has changed my life and my outlook on art, design, creativity and thinking. 

So after a restful weekend spent going to see 'The Lady in a Van', wrapping Christmas presents, making special cards and eating chocolate with my feet up behind my new double glazing (I actually can't feel the wind in my living room anymore) I am ready to start Practice 3. This is what I am going to do...

'My rationale is to bring together people, place and politics through carrying out work in situ in Chernobyl and presenting a video of this as a major piece of work. 

And produce a large-scale exhibition piece: ‘What Once There Was’ (working title) using life-size interior pieces for maximum impact and real human emotiveness which essentially will bridge the gap between space and time, between 1986 and now and between the Ukraine and here. It could be an immersive installation that will intend to convey the emptiness, the fear of what has happened there, what could happen here, allowing the viewer to connect and (only) imagine loss of this magnitude.'

This is how I am getting on - i.e. 'not well', it could be a major waste of time/disaster but who knows what will happen before I finish it, it is by working on it that I am generating new ideas, all the time :)

                
via GIPHY

Show (and tell) time...

A very handy pinboard with 'censored' lengths

I have been quite stressed, somewhat, or rather what comes with being mentally busy. Preparing for hand in today was slightly fraught to say the least. Other things were determined to get in the way but I eventually got there, minus 2 x A2 paintings that strangely have disappeared off the face of the earth, no doubt I shall find them tomorrow. Maybe it was a sign.

Bound to be writing

I have less practical work this time, more thinking and focusing though..and, there is still a way to go; sampling, experimenting, refining (repeating ad infinitum) and only then producing final pieces.

Pantone colour for 2016 :-)

Today I had to present my work, I had a plan but as is usual it went by the wayside once I started rabbiting, as sometimes I am wont to do. I managed to continue to speak for a good 20 minutes and for someone as quiet as me (!) I think that's an achievement, and I only slightly 'filled up' with the emotion of my subject, once.

I said all I had to say, another achievement as usually I'm kicking myself for missing out that all important, crucial word. (Although one will probably come to me later).

Anyway, I feel good.

Worn out. Raised pile

AND I have big idea's. I will tell you more/them next week...Ciao

P.S. I have just remembered... I forgot to mention Auschwitz.

In Conversation...

Random Middlesbrough photo - 'ghost' building

S:

'Rather belatedly, I just wanted to tell you how much I'm enjoying reading your blog about your MA. You write so well, it makes it really interesting to read about it. 

I love the piece you've done on the seacoaling, it looks beautifully delicate but with a strong story behind it. The Contested Territories work reminds me of a really interesting programme I caught on Radio 4 a while back about how archeologists were getting a lot of stick for finding evidence that went against commonly held beliefs about history, in places like Israel and the Palestinian territories. 

It was great to see your sketchbook too. I've always liked the idea of the presence of absence, it can be a surprisingly strong force but not always consciously known about. I'd just been thinking about starting a discipline of doing something in a sketchbook most days even if I don't know what the end purpose will be, and so seeing yours has inspired me and spurred me on.

I hope it's going well and that your Brian doesn't get too stressed by it. 

Cheering you on from the sidelines ...'

 C:

'Thank you so much for your encouraging words!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me such great feedback...the tables have turned :-)

I AM less anxious about it now and I enjoy being there although I would get more work done if I just stayed home, although then I might as well have done long distance learning and not had the intellectual stimulus (!) and I'm sure I'll find time whilst there at some point to get on their machines, I have done a few samples but I'm still not enamoured by machine embroidery per se (yet).

The 'embroidery' MA thing is still unclear mainly because I have been too embarrassed to ask WHAT qualification I am studying!!! (Maybe its an MA in 'Design', I should know by now!)

I'm glad you like my textile piece, there is a lack of background samples but I hope it will suffice. I will be exhibiting it at college (CCAD) in March - we  all (dept staff ) have to put our research work up so it will come in handy, although as I won't be in Paris this time I will have to hang and style it myself, but it does mean I will have the opportunity to add a soundtrack.

Will look forward to seeing your new sketchbook!!! '

To present (in a formal and ceremonious way)...

I present...

A research study project on a (local) contested territory.

On a productive and painless morning, the last session with my lovely group, we surveyed our (very hard to get) exhibition space and then went and played a game to generate a jumble of phrases to describe our joint 'production', it was a great idea which luckily worked first time, whether anyone else will be able to understand it is debatable (though not that necessary) but it's conceptual and fits with the theme! I will be really sad not to be in this class anymore. I am thinking of going to do a 'Contested Territories' MA instead.

Contested Territories Selection

So then, I had to centre myself and focus on the 'presentation' of my work to 2 lecturers. It went much better than I had hoped, because they were nice. It was very positive overall although my blog should be more academic and my final piece should really have been more minimal/abstract. I can live with that. I think I may even pass but only if someone lovely irons my exhibit before it gets hung. I am grateful it's getting hung (and wafted).

Now just to electronically submit and turnitin. Then on with the Practice 1 module (after Paris of course).   

Designing for Embroidery?

Most shocking quote of the day...(I nearly fainted),
'You might be doing MA ‘Embroidery’ but that doesn't mean you might not end up with just paintings for example, you may not do ANY embroidery.' WHAT?!!!!

I took a look at my sketchbook this weekend... and then today I talked about it, although I couldn't actually manage to carry it all the way to MMU - snowstorms not withstanding. I was worried that my concept wasn't coming through enough in a focused/obvious way. I know why, and generally it does. But I wanted to take my own advice and get initial ideas out of my head and down on paper (in order to let it later develop and hopefully get more fabulous almost accidentally) so that I could get on with trying to visually communicate (perhaps or maybe not [!] through embroidery), what it is that I am trying to. I may have mentioned it before but so I can practice rolling it off my tongue, it's about; 'the finding/uncovering of objects left behind in a derelict, desolate landscape, that which give a sense of place... it's about the presence of an absence'.

That, is my 'elevator pitch' attempting to get across the inspiration, (aims?) and meaning in as few words as possible. Now I shall attempt to learn it rote fashion and see if it will stick in my brain. (I have just made myself smile by mistyping 'stick in my Brian' - small things)

So...the sketchbook. Some things didn't work and others were a lot more difficult to get absolutely looking right than I had expected but I do quite like the results. I have absolutely NO idea how any of it will finally be concluded, if at all.

Anyway it 'doesn't matter yet' said Alex. Good.

We had a group discussion about what our expectations were (before starting) and how we felt/feel about our MA, the course, structure, sessions everything. My mouth spilled forth my innermost, I have ruined the persona I thought I had constructed for myself as an intelligent, confident woman and trashed it. They were all a bit shocked. Except Debra who already knows.

The wheels are turning...

Piccadilly, Manchester

I've had my first tutorial, with Jane McKeating who is the Associate Head of Design at MMU, she who has written (good) embroidery books. 

I was afraid she was going to tell me that my 'concept' wasn't 'conceptual' enough...But she was just really interested in my artwork and my ideas of what and how I was going to stitch, I feel like I've been given permission, not to stop reading intellectual and academic texts but to do my practical work alongside that, with equal importance, and not to worry about how I was going to make it become one whole (let's just hope that happens naturally). I feel I can get on and do a body of practical work and stop worrying about it. Her main advice and focus was on my embroidery which was refreshing and got me excited again. She thinks I'm 'precise'. I can't wait to get home and do some PROPER work.

Unfortunately I have to lug my portfolio and overnight bag halfway across Manchester first.

In other news, our lecture this morning was cancelled and this afternoon's session was for international students only. 

So... I had my health & safety embroidery workshop induction and had to prove I could thread a Bernina sewing machine, I expect it will get slightly more difficult. Next week I get to learn how to use the software for the 12 head embroidery machine- cool.

This respite also gave our CT mapping group a chance to decide what we were actually going to do and how to move forward. The dynamics have changed a little but I think it will all work out...for my part, I am going to photograph a contested territory near home, which will be put on a map, one of a series of 3. I am thinking Seal Sands... that industry vs nature thing we've got going on and maybe Seaton Carew, that quaint little seaside town we've got, as a 'non-tourist' resort. After Christmas we'll decide how we are going to present it; so far this involves a buffet, as we decided a plate of buffet food could be said to be 'contested' I.e. prawn vol au vents fighting with sherry trifle = a mess on a plate.

Oh, I also offered to help with some (very) early-morning, guerrilla-style, paste-up, street-art* for an installation piece two of the group are doing (I'm knitting the balaclavas!)

*I have used the hyphen incorrectly... for effect.  

How to change the world with embroidery...?

Before I reveal the answer I shall update you on my beautiful day...

Starting with a 'CT' (know what it is yet?) meeting in the canteen at 9.30am to devise a plan for an early little reconnaissance outing. I think I was kind of still a little asleep. We didn't make a plan except 'to just set off', but it was suggested that we could go somewhere, return, then individually draw a map from memory where we had been, and layer the results on top of an actual map and each other's. I think that would be kind of interesting although I'm guessing scale may be a bit of an issue. It would be a fun 'aside'. 
I feel I should be doing more of the 'suggesting' within the group instead of taking more of an admin role (i.e. writing the minutes for our Facebook page!) Mmm, I was reminded today that this module has the same number of credits as our Practice 1 (main design) module, damn. However, I do know that this option was the right choice even when I see what the 'Object in Context' people are doing.
Anyway, we were looking for examples of contested territories which we can then map. I think we discovered about 2. But the Urbexing was fabulous anyway...

The rest of the day, everyone except part time year 1 (which includes me :-)) did their Pecha Kucha presentations about their (practical) work so far, with varying degrees of charisma. Nick's was brilliant but he is from Liverpool. I found that most had no physical work either by the look of it. They could always be hiding it though. Unfortunately, they all had really good, amazing ideas that would change the world, or at the very least improve it for some marginalised, disadvantaged, disabled, or 'needy' part of society by inventing/designing an incredible product or such like. So much so that they would be deserving of a Noble prize or a knighthood. (This may be a slight exaggeration- 2 weren't that good). So... in terms of my confidence levels being fairly healthy this last week it has done a lot of damage in that I have now decided I must sort out my stuff RIGHT NOW and fix it (well on Saturday).
Honestly, I know what my problem is, I want to continue with the project I started in the summer, i.e. develop it and see how exciting it can get. To be fair I don't even have that much - just some drawings, photographs and paintings and half an embellishment sample. But, what I need to do is throw all that out and start afresh with nothing - however, I really don't want to. 

So the answer to the title question is.. 
'You actually can't, so just make it more fabulous'.

Finally, I have devised this confidence graph which I will plot for the duration of my MA;