To present (in a formal and ceremonious way)...

I present...

A research study project on a (local) contested territory.

On a productive and painless morning, the last session with my lovely group, we surveyed our (very hard to get) exhibition space and then went and played a game to generate a jumble of phrases to describe our joint 'production', it was a great idea which luckily worked first time, whether anyone else will be able to understand it is debatable (though not that necessary) but it's conceptual and fits with the theme! I will be really sad not to be in this class anymore. I am thinking of going to do a 'Contested Territories' MA instead.

Contested Territories Selection

So then, I had to centre myself and focus on the 'presentation' of my work to 2 lecturers. It went much better than I had hoped, because they were nice. It was very positive overall although my blog should be more academic and my final piece should really have been more minimal/abstract. I can live with that. I think I may even pass but only if someone lovely irons my exhibit before it gets hung. I am grateful it's getting hung (and wafted).

Now just to electronically submit and turnitin. Then on with the Practice 1 module (after Paris of course).   

Finished?

A little bit of problem solving left to do... how to make this hang correctly, after my accurate but useless measuring (I should have just done it by eye)... maybe I'll go with the earlier option of folding the piece and laying it atop a plinth... obscuring parts to invoke curiosity and interest, referring to the issue itself; the council brushing the seacoalers under the carpet so to speak, and making things difficult.

Excerpts from my conclusion/evaluation: 'When I started this personal project, stemming from the mapping group discourses, I identified a number of 'contested territories' in my local area; most of which were within a 3 mile radius in the Hartlepool, Seaton Carew and Port Clarence areas. My further, more focused research on seacoaling and the councils preventative measures of it, took me also to Seaham and Sunderland, a little further north and to (recorded) conversations with locals of some notoriety about their personal experience of seacoaling;

   'demonstrate (ing) that the more specific, local instance can often provide the most significant illumination of the human predicament' (Amber Productions, 2014)

Seacoaling was a hard, hard way of life for people trying to scrape an honest (?) living and get through times of poverty and, in all weathers; rain, sleet, snow, biting winds, and twice a day, often in the dark. Heavy manual labour carried out by both men and women, and often helped by their children. A longstanding tradition, it has now become essentially eradicated by local Borough Councils...though one must ask 'what harm does it do?'

Q: Why did Hartlepool Council landscape the Seaton Carew promenade? Pave the small access road (used for the lifeboat and diggers/sand movers/smoothers/emergency vehicles)? Why are there big black bollards? And signs saying, 'No this, no that'? 

A: To stop unwanted access by vehicles, and in terms of the seacoalers, noise pollution and unsightly views brought about by their trucks and to help make the beaches safe and clean for all the public to enjoy. 

Don't seacoalers help keep the beaches 'clean' by removing the black coal from the beaches?

Although this local issue may seem a small thing, one that may not matter to many in the grand scheme of things, this shoreline IS a site for contestation and could be said to be a microcosm of the bigger, wider issue… it brings about questions and thoughts of injustice, unfairness, rights, ownership, what is truly public, freedom, barriers, borders, territories, memory, and so on.'

The exhibition blurb which is most likely to be refined and possibly rewritten to be less pretentious... 

A meandering, stitched line of washed up seacoal, paused just as it hits the edge of the water, inferring the shape of the coastline, that has been carried in on the waves glints just off centre within this piece, and is of course it’s focal point. The ‘coal’ becomes a hidden treasure (as it is to those who collected it) just under the surface when the fabric is folded or glimpsed now and again as the silk moves gently on a (sea) breeze when hung. A hand-painted and over-dyed ground of a digitally printed photograph portraying the measures put in place by the council to prevent beach access by the seacoalers, contests the embroidery; in colour, depth, permanence, richness and importance.

In the library...

It was assessment day, not for me but I thought I would get a sneaky preview of the full time students work before it's my turn in May, no such luck - we were barred from the studio early doors so I accordingly attended my Contested Territories lecture on Contested Memory... and it was really good/thought provoking. It was all about interesting stuff including Holocaust Memory and the power/politics of what is chosen to be remembered and what is chosen to be forgotten, the eradication of collective memory and how artists/photographers etc. portray and/or 'aid' collective memory. 

Then my plan was to use the time of banishment to work on my CAD files for the Brother embroidery machine and come up with something amazingly beautiful, after a quick trip to the library.  So after a short and useful meeting over lunch (well a banana), I duly went to the library. I spent 3.5 HOURS writing a conclusion for my CT research... 1.500 words; I think the whole project should have been done in that many. Then I spent 35 extra minutes looking for books to support the mornings lecture, numbered and in a 'system', should have been easier - out of a list of 9 (available) I found 4 that were there, but minus one as it was too heavy.

So no amazing embroidery design but a DVD for the weekend:- 'Eichmann', the trial of a Nazi war criminal. Can't wait.

Contested Territories... THE Textile Piece!

So I've been busy.... sampling and trying to figure out my final exhibition piece. The pressure is on as this will be the first piece of work my MA peers will have ever seen of mine so obviously I want it to look good BUT the piece of work itself is not assessed so... a quandary. What IS being assessed is the 'writing' that goes with it, the collaboration that has taken place, the resulting group exhibition and the research (I guess).

As usual, it quickly became clear that the idea in my head was not going to look as amazing as I imagined, and that, almost as soon as I started sampling. I decided to work on 3 identical pieces of fabric - a medium weight linen which would support any embellishments and still hang nicely, I dyed them all the same sandy beige/taupe base colour (with coffee because it always works) in various densities. Then I etched my illustrator drawing of the Hartlepool, Seaton Carew, Teesside coastline - I wanted a clean crisp line and my thinking was that it would not only be a hypothetical border but also a barrier - to the indigo dye I intended to handpaint with... I hoped it would stop at the line, which it actually did in a few tests. It was rather successful (until I washed it and it frayed badly - but in a good way (image No. 5).

1. Etched Coastline

2. Cut Coastline

3. Etched then washed coastline

A little washed out, with neon pink Japanese braid pinpointing Seaton Carew and Hartlepool, I then went for the Irish Machine, NOT for quickness, really, but because I was aiming for the widest satin stitch and layers of stitching for a lumpy effect (re. coal). As I explained to my students who witnessed my swearing at the said Irish, when they asked what I was doing, this is a 'fine art' outcome not a 'decorative' one :-)

4. Colour or Black & White?

I managed to get a silk chiffon digital print rushed through (though there was no silk organza which is my preference). I had to try both colour and black & white, as I am trying to produce 3 finals so I can choose the best one. I do prefer the colour against the background. Notice I've laid some glass black beading along my coastline on the right. Loving it. It says coal so well and not that blatantly, mmm I might do a questionnaire about that - 'What do YOU think it means?' Well, not you. You know!

5. Etched, washed and stitched coastline

I don't usually do messy... but hey I might!

6. Handpainted, stitched and beaded silk organza

I would say this sample was my eureka moment, at the exact point that I folded it up. Now this IS organza, it dyes so beautifully, coffee and quink ink... then bleach - delicious and as transparent as you can get without being clear vinyl/shower curtain or tulle. I think the way the embroidered rivulet band of coal (!) and loose threads can still be seen through the layers and how they are partially obscured, to be very apt And then, depending on the way the light hits, you catch a glimmer, a sparkle of the beads - like hidden treasure just under the surface, which is exactly what sea coal was to those who collected it.

7. Organza Detail 

So I did have three linen pieces, two of which are now cut up as samples though one is still my back up plan. I also now have a clear idea of how I will produce THE final. Fingers crossed X

Contested Territories: Coastline

A post completely devoted to my Contested Territories module/project as that is what I have mainly been working on this 'holiday', and hopefully soon to be finalised...
I have been organising my research and putting my words into a ledger... I have completed 5 final photographs ( another one of these shown below) that (hopefully) illustrate my line of enquiry as well as working out a textile response. 

I spent a research day last week in County Durham in conversation with Barry, a local historian, and a bloke who used to go Sea-coaling, called Pokey. The photograph below shows what was outside the house. Anyway, I have therefore obtained a sound recording of our 'interview' (more like them talking and me butting in sometimes) which I think would be fabulous played through headphones, next to my exhibits to add a bit of flavour, background and human interest. It was a very interesting experience and I could have sat there for hours, listening to that accent and tales of 'yesterday', the working class man, hardship and survival in austere times. It was very informal with cup of coffees in hand, mobile phone interruptions and I have to say the amount of 'drop in' visitors Barry gets is unbelievable - his door is literally ALWAYS open... and locals do seem to take advantage of that. The recording is quite good considering the amount of people and dogs coming and going. At one point there was 7 people in that living room and 2 dogs.

A pheasant present left for Barry.

Hopefully my next post will be all about THE textile piece and my conclusion! Still a bit of work to do...

Christmas and Cancellations...

So,  the first thing to be cancelled was my early train to Manchester but a lovely woman took me on the bus. I'm sure I would have arrived at uni quicker (and easier) had I just waited for the next train, but hey I made a friend.

I then had a free morning so I took the opportunity to do some writing. About sea coal. I was very pleased with myself for having the foresight to put my fluorescent yellow 1mm letraset tape in my pencil case just to break it up a bit. 

The CT lunch meeting went well as we all just decided that everything would be FINE and we would iron out the details after Christmas. I need to make sure that my textile piece for the exhibition is almost finished (at least sampled anyway) before I go back. I think that may be impossible as I intend to digitally print it then over-dye some of it, then laser cut it, then blacken it with coal from the beach, then maybe stitch a bit on it. 

My final photographs are done, I'm not sure whether to exhibit those alongside the textile piece or not, they may help put it into context? This is my favourite for some reason.

Stopping the Seacoalers

I would say I think my background research is almost complete but I did go and find this book in the library, which I am quite excited about…

Our usual studio session (cancelled) was replaced by a Christmas party. And my induction on the Pfaff machine was cancelled. So I went to the party (for a bit), most people had brought their native alcohol rather than world nibbles which I think was an added bonus. The homemade sloe gin from Grimsby being a clear winner, although I'm sure the sangria and baileys cocktails were also amazing. I stuck to the gin, it's not good to mix your drinks before you go to study in the library. I may sound unsociable but I figured I have little enough time to get this work done and I'm going to see the Pigeon Detectives tonight.

The wheels are turning...

Piccadilly, Manchester

I've had my first tutorial, with Jane McKeating who is the Associate Head of Design at MMU, she who has written (good) embroidery books. 

I was afraid she was going to tell me that my 'concept' wasn't 'conceptual' enough...But she was just really interested in my artwork and my ideas of what and how I was going to stitch, I feel like I've been given permission, not to stop reading intellectual and academic texts but to do my practical work alongside that, with equal importance, and not to worry about how I was going to make it become one whole (let's just hope that happens naturally). I feel I can get on and do a body of practical work and stop worrying about it. Her main advice and focus was on my embroidery which was refreshing and got me excited again. She thinks I'm 'precise'. I can't wait to get home and do some PROPER work.

Unfortunately I have to lug my portfolio and overnight bag halfway across Manchester first.

In other news, our lecture this morning was cancelled and this afternoon's session was for international students only. 

So... I had my health & safety embroidery workshop induction and had to prove I could thread a Bernina sewing machine, I expect it will get slightly more difficult. Next week I get to learn how to use the software for the 12 head embroidery machine- cool.

This respite also gave our CT mapping group a chance to decide what we were actually going to do and how to move forward. The dynamics have changed a little but I think it will all work out...for my part, I am going to photograph a contested territory near home, which will be put on a map, one of a series of 3. I am thinking Seal Sands... that industry vs nature thing we've got going on and maybe Seaton Carew, that quaint little seaside town we've got, as a 'non-tourist' resort. After Christmas we'll decide how we are going to present it; so far this involves a buffet, as we decided a plate of buffet food could be said to be 'contested' I.e. prawn vol au vents fighting with sherry trifle = a mess on a plate.

Oh, I also offered to help with some (very) early-morning, guerrilla-style, paste-up, street-art* for an installation piece two of the group are doing (I'm knitting the balaclavas!)

*I have used the hyphen incorrectly... for effect.  

How to change the world with embroidery...?

Before I reveal the answer I shall update you on my beautiful day...

Starting with a 'CT' (know what it is yet?) meeting in the canteen at 9.30am to devise a plan for an early little reconnaissance outing. I think I was kind of still a little asleep. We didn't make a plan except 'to just set off', but it was suggested that we could go somewhere, return, then individually draw a map from memory where we had been, and layer the results on top of an actual map and each other's. I think that would be kind of interesting although I'm guessing scale may be a bit of an issue. It would be a fun 'aside'. 
I feel I should be doing more of the 'suggesting' within the group instead of taking more of an admin role (i.e. writing the minutes for our Facebook page!) Mmm, I was reminded today that this module has the same number of credits as our Practice 1 (main design) module, damn. However, I do know that this option was the right choice even when I see what the 'Object in Context' people are doing.
Anyway, we were looking for examples of contested territories which we can then map. I think we discovered about 2. But the Urbexing was fabulous anyway...

The rest of the day, everyone except part time year 1 (which includes me :-)) did their Pecha Kucha presentations about their (practical) work so far, with varying degrees of charisma. Nick's was brilliant but he is from Liverpool. I found that most had no physical work either by the look of it. They could always be hiding it though. Unfortunately, they all had really good, amazing ideas that would change the world, or at the very least improve it for some marginalised, disadvantaged, disabled, or 'needy' part of society by inventing/designing an incredible product or such like. So much so that they would be deserving of a Noble prize or a knighthood. (This may be a slight exaggeration- 2 weren't that good). So... in terms of my confidence levels being fairly healthy this last week it has done a lot of damage in that I have now decided I must sort out my stuff RIGHT NOW and fix it (well on Saturday).
Honestly, I know what my problem is, I want to continue with the project I started in the summer, i.e. develop it and see how exciting it can get. To be fair I don't even have that much - just some drawings, photographs and paintings and half an embellishment sample. But, what I need to do is throw all that out and start afresh with nothing - however, I really don't want to. 

So the answer to the title question is.. 
'You actually can't, so just make it more fabulous'.

Finally, I have devised this confidence graph which I will plot for the duration of my MA;

Good day... (Week 6: Already?)

For a quick synopsis scroll down to *

On my way... again

Wednesday evening, I'm on the train and it's on time so let's hope I make my connection this week, it would be nice.

I feel less trepidation this week; I think we may get into some artwork... although I haven't brought ANY art materials or even paper with me! I am also expecting to meet my personal tutor and have to explain my work (again), hopefully I will do a better job of that this time. I have some photographs and a piece of embroidery in my bag so I can at least resort to some visual back up. I do intend to work/continue with the studies I did over summer, developing those and producing new, more textural, study sheets, alongside producing some  samples and learning how to tambour. I borrowed a hook a few weeks ago and have not yet managed to get started. But this weekend is completely free for me to MA.

Journey Reading

On my way back...again.

Just a note; I missed my connection last night by ONE MINUTE. Sigh. It upsets me as it costs me taxi fare and half an hour. Out of 6 journeys, this has happened 4 times, not a great record (also not my fault).

My day starts with a 10am lecture on Contested Territories, so thats where I will start...

We talked about the 'Impact of Empires', well not me personally, I was trying out the strategy of keeping my mouth (mostly) shut to hide my ignorance. I didn't know much about the topics but there is an improvement... I accept that I don't know anything about Orientalism for example, but I DO know quite a lot about Chinoiserie (no, I know it's not the same), so... I don't think I'm that stupid. I just know about other/different things.

I have to say what struck me most was the thought that I can't imagine EVER studying anything in another language. omg. English is a second language for a large percentage of the class and wow they're good.

So then I took an extra lecture, over lunch (I KNOW!!!!!!!) about Dutch Design Week and it was great.. just looking at interesting and beautiful things, and the In Vitro Meat Cookbook.

Then...

Practice 1 Session: How to talk the 'talk'...

(Obviously this is exactly what I need to know) 

I think it goes like this...

1. Choose a metaphor e.g. 'spinning a yarn' or, make one up (not quite sure if this is allowed but I have)
2. Apply said metaphor to whatever it is you are talking/writing about
3. Choose words to describe your 'thing' that work with your metaphor

For example:

So I'm going to 'pan for gold' and sift through the layers of silt until I find glimmers of preciousness and nuggets of value (which will keep me going). I will be examining fragments and findings from the past and continue until I find enough gold to make THE ingot of all ingots.

Key Words:

Elusive, Precious, Determination

*   Today I have learned:

•     How ridiculous and tenuous is the link I made to conceptualise and contextualise my work, the one between Dark Tourism and Urbexing. BUT I do have a solution. (And after all, I have started planning my trip to Chernobyl.)
•   That maybe the reason I have felt intellectually inadequate when I didn't understand what some people were talking about was because those people were actually not making any sense, they were just doing it with big words to make it sound good.
•   And I still haven't met Nigel.

End or beginning

Before I get to the nitty gritty; a few observations...

• There's someone in my Contested Territories class called Ulysses, how beautiful a name is that?
• It's exceptionally mild for this time of year (had to carry my coat around)
• Apparently now I have a personal tutor, he's called Nigel.

1.    Contested Territories...

We discussed ideas for the work we are to produce between us, amongst us, starting with thoughts on communication which led to the vagaries of language, dialect: cultural translation studies including issues regarding reactions to de-globalisation which led to 'words': use of, change of... this in turn led to a discussion on gender, countries at war. Then...guides, maps, routes to remnants of planes crashed in the Peak District...very interesting.

http://peakwreckhunters.blogspot.co.uk/

This led to everyone deciding not to do a symposium but an exhibition or a festival of exhibitions; there seems to be 3 distinct camps and possibilities for groups to form:

a. Mapping 'exhibits', that are already there (in the street) that represent some territory contested (I like this one)

b. Producing work to be 'pasted up' on the boarded up windows of boarded up houses along a full boarded up street, am not sure what the work would be based on (but I like this idea)

c. Gender issues relating to nations at war

+d. (Secret) communication within Illustration by means of coding 

We then spent a good 40 minutes trying to set up a group Facebook page and adding everyone. I need to post on this tonight and hopefully infiltrate group no.1

2.    Anticipating Change; The Final Chapter OR

 Anticipating Change; Anticipating the Presentation (all morning)

I had recently posted some new research on our blog, I had also offered to present some of said research during the group presentation this afternoon, due to me feeling guilty about being a (very) part-time member but also wanting to contribute to and support the group at our final 'showdown'. However, I was rather hoping it wouldn't fit in. But due to the kindness of Nick & Helen wanting to 'include' Jack and I, I was allowed. Mmmm. I played my small part with what seemed to appear to others to be confidence, but was actually slight panic, not least because it was being FILMED.
So, now that is over. I'm not sure yet how much of our research will inform my overall 'Practice 1' outcomes but the pure fact of doing research will surely prove a bonus. I'm hoping that now will come a chance to get some practical work done.
     
 Reading back, my comments are not really very evaluative OR analytical...so here's some of that:
On the collaborative aspect and the overall experience:
Put into groups, randomly, for a 4 week long, collaborative research and presentation project to answer, in essence, ‘What are the influences on future design?’ 
(See blog for more in depth information: www.anticipatingchange.blog.com)
At the outset I felt a little unsure, nervous yet resigned, as I had known this was coming, admittedly though, perhaps not so fast.
When introduced to (or rather when I found) my group – number 7, I wanted to appear ‘as good as…’, ‘confident but not fake, pushy or arrogant’ (because I am not) and not as ‘a leader’ but definitely as someone who would contribute. I certainly didn’t want to push myself forward nor shy away from tasks. I was happy with (most of) the group; one member who shall remain nameless, immediately proceeded to tear strips off me for not committing to more than one day a week. Great start - not. This made me feel embarrassed, completely shocked that it actually happened. I am still shocked. The rest of the group more than made up for this ‘incident’; creative thinkers, interesting, friendly people, very fair and who got on with the job (very well). It was a great exercise to introduce us to each other and I was glad of that opportunity. I have said in an earlier post that overall I felt academically inadequate but this group did not make me feel that way.
The positive aspects of this working group has meant I formed new relationships with my peers, (and didn’t have to find people to work with myself – as this may have been like being the last kid to be picked for the team in PE), met other part timers who took part in my initial experiences and who shared their information, met full timers who I wouldn’t otherwise be working with and it gave us all a common ground and a common goal. It encouraged us to begin researching immediately with a focus and a starting point. Also by spending the first few weeks on this, I am even more excited to start some textile work.
On the negative side; during the tirade I suffered, I felt I didn’t stand up for myself (I was shocked into complete stupid silence) which made me feel small, although I realise this was just unlucky. Mixing full and part time students, although had it’s advantages also meant I felt some guilt not doing as much as others did.
If I had to do it all again I wouldn’t do anything differently, I don’t think I could to be honest. It was how it was, mainly due to external factors & influences. As for my own performance within the presentation I could have prepared my part better and in a more timely fashion by checking my emails the night before which was when my part had been identified. As it was, I quickly did extra research and tried to get it straight in my head - over lunch, which was quite stressful! Oh but then I forgot to look at my crib sheets with the facts and figures on and ended up skimming over the main points I was trying to get across. However, I did manage to do it without betablockers :-)

In conclusion I feel it has set the MA tone: rightly or wrongly, to be academic, conceptually and personally challenging, with no room for a comfort zone and it has helped me to know what to expect for the next 2 years (to be proven either way – watch this space).

Third Day Nerves

Week/Day 3:

A moment in time memory jog:' Person on the Stockport viaduct' alert last night = difficult  journey…

A 10am start of my Options Unit, I have chosen 'Contested Territories' over my second choice 'Objects in Context' which is all about collecting, classifying, detail, emotional attachment, things etc…right up my street, I know this, I love this, I do this but I am also interested in the issues raised within Contested Territories and this I do not know, I already have an interest in Dark Tourism and this was mentioned along with other related subjects I had not considered, but some of which I have a tiny insight into through refugee and asylum seeker's stories I heard whilst doing volunteer work. It tugged at me and I thought I would be brave and venture out of my comfort zone and I know the research will be helpful within my practice - somehow.

Since I was about 13 years old I have had an interest in the holocaust, maybe because it is just so unbelievable - unfathomable and heartwrenching and human and for some reason I have always had an urge/pull/need/want to visit Auschwitz. Since Urbexing too, I would love to visit Chernobyl. This unit made me think about why this is; we had to introduce ourselves to the group and whilst waiting my turn I tried to think of what I was going to say. I didn't say, ' I've always wanted to visit Auschwitz'… because someone may have asked, 'Well why haven't you?' I thought I'd better consider that question. I conclude, I have been too afraid of breaking down and crying in public when I feared I might. I don't like to show emotion, I was horrified when I went on a Catholic retreat once and spent the whole weekend in floods of tears or trying desperately to hold them back.

http://www.politics.ie/forum/history/221271-liberation-auschwitz-holocaust-memorial-day-images.html

I think I may have to visit Chernobyl first, I imagine it will make me angry, which is more acceptable to me than pure grief. I intend to research into what makes people have this pull towards visiting places where bad things happened, it seems strange in many ways, I understand it's a (an emotional) connection with the past, an effort not to let the horrors, atrocities be ever forgotten/brushed aside…but is that the same as going on an American bus trip to visit scenes of domestic brutal murders? I don't think so.

All the above may have come out better than my actual words which were an insight for everyone else into how I don't know how to apply conceptual thinking to my work and what a person scrabbling about for words that sound quite good looks like. I NEED TO STOP TRYING TO RELATE MY WORK TO REAL WORLD BIG ISSUES and making it fit conceptually, don't I? But I think that's not allowed. What's wrong with picking the option because it sounded interesting????

Today we touched on borders, real and imagined… it was too short.

Insight of the week:

•   Everyone seems to be incredibly academic. I'm not, just average.

•   If you were to use all the equipment you wanted to, make things with everything, get to be good at it all, you would need to be in those great workshops for 10 years solid. I'm going to need all my powers of selectivity.

•   No-one seems to know where we're supposed to be.

Why am I writing this blog?

The importance of constant, analytical evaluation on one's work, progress and practice is not lost on me. I am aware that I need to write an in depth evaluation in all my modules/units so if I write this account, sometimes brief though it will be, I am sure to find it easier at the end. Fingers crossed. (And I'll try not to write much about TK Maxx.)