Week/Day 3:
A moment in time memory jog:' Person on
the Stockport viaduct' alert last night = difficult journey…
A 10am start of my Options Unit, I have
chosen 'Contested Territories' over my second choice 'Objects in Context' which
is all about collecting, classifying, detail, emotional attachment, things
etc…right up my street, I know this, I love this, I do this but I am
also interested in the issues raised within Contested Territories and this I do
not know, I already have an interest in Dark Tourism and this was mentioned
along with other related subjects I had not considered, but some of which I
have a tiny insight into through refugee and asylum seeker's stories I heard
whilst doing volunteer work. It tugged at me and I thought I would be brave and
venture out of my comfort zone and I know the research will be helpful within
my practice - somehow.
Since I was about 13 years old I have had
an interest in the holocaust, maybe because it is just so unbelievable -
unfathomable and heartwrenching and human and for some reason I have
always had an urge/pull/need/want to visit Auschwitz. Since Urbexing too, I
would love to visit Chernobyl. This unit made me think about why this is; we
had to introduce ourselves to the group and whilst waiting my turn I tried to
think of what I was going to say. I didn't say, ' I've always wanted to visit Auschwitz'… because someone may have
asked, 'Well why haven't you?' I
thought I'd better consider that question. I conclude, I have been too afraid
of breaking down and crying in public when I feared I might. I don't like to
show emotion, I was horrified when I went on a Catholic retreat once and spent
the whole weekend in floods of tears or trying desperately to hold them back.
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| http://www.politics.ie/forum/history/221271-liberation-auschwitz-holocaust-memorial-day-images.html |
I think I may have to visit Chernobyl
first, I imagine it will make me angry, which is more acceptable to me than
pure grief. I intend to research into what makes people have this pull towards
visiting places where bad things happened, it seems strange in many ways, I
understand it's a (an emotional) connection with the past, an effort not to let
the horrors, atrocities be ever forgotten/brushed aside…but is that the same as
going on an American bus trip to visit scenes of domestic brutal murders? I
don't think so.
All the above may have come out better
than my actual words which were an insight for everyone else into how I don't
know how to apply conceptual thinking to my work and what a person scrabbling
about for words that sound quite good looks like. I NEED TO STOP TRYING TO
RELATE MY WORK TO REAL WORLD BIG ISSUES and making it fit conceptually, don't
I? But I think that's not allowed. What's wrong with picking the option because
it sounded interesting????
Today we touched on borders, real and
imagined… it was too short.
Insight of the week:
•
Everyone
seems to be incredibly academic. I'm not, just average.
•
If
you were to use all the equipment you wanted to, make things with everything,
get to be good at it all, you would need to be in those great workshops for 10
years solid. I'm going to need all my powers of selectivity.
•
No-one
seems to know where we're supposed to be.
Why am I writing this blog?
The importance of constant, analytical
evaluation on one's work, progress and practice is not lost on me. I am aware
that I need to write an in depth evaluation in all my modules/units so if I
write this account, sometimes brief though it will be, I am sure to find it
easier at the end. Fingers crossed. (And I'll try not to write much about TK
Maxx.)
